If you missed it, after the OSU-Texas Tech game Porcupine Boy spiked up his hair and twisted off on a columnist for the Daily Oklahoman. He refused to answer any questions about the game, instead he paced back and forth, foamed at the mouth, and screamed at Jenni Carlson over this column she wrote, where she dared go against the T.Boone-blessed version of events in Stillwater and question Bobby Reid's toughness, who was benched in favor of some other guy.
I could have my secretary transcribe his whole rant, but to get the full effect, you need to hear it for yourself.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm no big fan of the media myself, but to act like this in public was totally unprofessional. He should do like I do when I get mad at the media; bottle it up as best you can until you get home, then go into the back yard and punt baby kittens. I learned that tip from the Head Ball Coach. It's gold.
Some quotes:
I'm going to talk about this article right here.
If anybody hasn't read this article -- I don't read it, this was brought to me by a mother - of children -- I think this is worth readin'.
He wants you to know that he doesn't read the newspaper. Because he hates the media. And this will endear him to all the media-hating hayseeds in the OSU constituency who believe the Oklahoman (or any media outlet, for that matter) is run by a bunch of OU homers that have it in for OSU. And he wants you to know that it was brought to him by a mother... of children. What else were we to assume she has given birth to?
Let me tell ya what I'm gonna talk about this article. Three fourths of this is inaccurate. It's fiction. And, this article embarrasses me to be involved with athletics, tremendously.
Really? So which fourth of it are you not disputing? We'd all love to know. And I'm not sure athletics is real proud to have you on board either, Mike, but that's a matter for another time.
And that article had to have been written by a person that doesn't have a child, and has never had a child that's had their heart broken.. and come home upset, and had to deal with a child when he is upset, and kick a person when he's down.
It's not politically correct for him to say what he really thinks, which is "You ignorant woman, what the hell do you know about sports? Shut up and go bake me a pie." But he can get away with this. He can call into question Jenni Carlson's lack of compassion for children because she is a young woman who has yet to experience the joy of childbirth. It's just a more indirect way of saying "that article had to have been written by a person who doesn't have a johnson, and therefore, no credibility on the subject."
If you have a child someday, you'll understand how it feels.. but you obviously don't have a child. I do.
Notice the keyword above, "If". Gundy may as well have whipped out his wallet full of cute pictures of his kids, shoved them in her face, slapped her across the forehead with his unquestionably potent babymaker, and called her a barren heifer.
If you wanna go after an athlete, one of MY ATHLETES, you go after one that doesn't do the right things.
Good point. Say, how's that Chris Collins child rape case coming along? See Jenni, if only you'd have reported on THAT, we would've heard Gundy's explanation of just how awesome they played today. Instead, we get to witness this little hissy fit.
Then, the money quote:
Are you kidding me? Where are we at in society today? Come after ME! I'm a MAN! I'm FORTY!
That's right. Think about that for a second, big man. You're a 40-year old man, standing in a room full of other men, screaming at the top of your lungs and shaking your finger in the nose of the only female in the room.
You're a real tough guy, there, Mike. Real tough. Where are we at as a society, indeed. You should be proud of yourself.
What you should be asking yourself, jackass, is what might have happened if you got even half as pissed at your sieve-like defense while Troy was marching up and down the field on you scoring 40-some points? Sure, you can be Mr. Confrontational Badass and scream like a lunatic at a woman reporter, but damn if you can look up from your little laminated play chart long enough to chew anybody's ass on your sideline. This only proves what a small little man you are. But hey, if that's how you run things in Stillwater, I say keep on keepin' on, brother.
(And about that Troy game... Listen, I know you guys' entire season revolves around how you can screw up our title chances, that's why we play each other head to head, but when you start losing non-conference games to crummy Sun Belt teams so you can soil the reputation of the whole Big 12 Conference, you've crossed the line.)
Was the column out of line? I don't know, but let's just say she isn't the only one who has heard those grumblings about Reid.
Just seems to me that of all the things Gundy ought to be outraged about, what some writer says about his bungling of the QB situation is probably pretty low on the list. And acting like a complete horse's ass isn't really going to help very much.
But, you can mark my words, it will make for a nice diversion, people will be talking about his disproportionately emotional and self-righteous over-reaction in glowing terms... for finally standing up to the big, bad, boogeyman in the form of the OU-slanted media... and the hayseeds in orange will lift him up on high for it, a mere 8 days removed from one of the biggest embarrassments in the history of a program full of big embarrassments, and all will be fine in Stillwater, so long as T.Boone keeps sending those checks.
